Does your marriage need a little R&R?

Who couldn’t use a little “Restoration and Revitalization” in their marriage?  Wouldn’t it be great to go back to that time in your relationship when you both were happy, carefree, and felt completely in tune with each other?  Who wouldn’t want to feel those love-bird sparks all over again?  One of our unique Marriage R&R’s can help you and your spouse find more of the vitality your marriage once had.  Maybe you think you and your spouse never had such a time in your relationship.  An R&R can help. 

Maybe you’re wondering how your marriage can be brought back from the brink of what seems like pending disaster.  Perhaps you or your spouse have seemingly lost all hope of making your marriage what you wanted.  Don’t despair – it’s not too late to turn this ship around.  R&R’s are structured to help couples restore the warm fuzzies of their marriages’ earlier days and to revitalize you and your spouse emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.  R&R’s can help. 

With the insightful assistance of two licensed psychologists or counselors, you and your spouse get the opportunity to spend two solid days working through any roadblocks in your marriage.  If you prefer, we also offer a four day R&R in which you get to work with up to four other couples going through many of the same difficulties.  These special days are spent in a relaxed setting away from children, television, work stress, home stress, and the hustle and bustle of everyday living. 

Prior to your days at the R&R, you and your spouse will have the chance to provide the team of trained counselors with extensive information so we can hit the ground running when we first meet face-to-face.  During the many hours that you and your spouse spend with your R&R team, you will identify the relational and individual dynamics that have been keeping you stuck.  You’ll begin to understand what you can do differently to move forward instead of standing still or losing ground.

By the end of the R&R, you’ll have more tools with which you can adequately and responsibly treasure your spouse, your marriage, and your family.  And…you won’t just leave your R&R experience changed.  We give you tools to keep on changing.  We ask that you find another married couple, preferably from your home church, with whom you will begin to share accountability in a mentoring relationship.  Research shows that sharing the normal ups and downs of your married life with other married couples can have an incredibly healing effect on your relationship.  Through the R&R process, we agree to spend time with this mentor couple, giving them a primer on many of the principles you will learn.  When you leave the R&R, you will then have a friend looking out for your marital health.  You’ll have someone championing the cause of your relationship and its eternally treasured significance.

Your R&R team will be available for follow-up assistance as you see needed.  We will, in fact, make a point of contacting you six months after your R&R for a quick check-up.  We can do this in person, on-line, or over the phone.  Consider this check-up an opportunity to focus on your newfound marital strengths and to tackle any areas where growth is needed.

It is our prayer at TFT that your Marriage R&R will truly be a time of restoration and revitalization.  We want you to have the marriage that God intends for you. 

Where do you hold the R&R?

R&R’s are held in local area bed and breakfasts.  Your total privacy and confidentiality is our highest priority in choosing the location for your R&R.  A major part of your restoration and revitalization is due to the sequestered, private setting that we provide for you and your spouse.  You can look forward to getting away from everyday concerns in a setting where every detail is considered as we work to help you restore your marriage.

What are the accommodations like?

Based on scheduling and availability, we utilize a very intentional, highly selective list of bed and breakfast proprietors.  You will not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, interruptions, or interference.  You can know with confidence that your R&R time will be devoted purely to helping you and your spouse improve your marriage.

I’m not sure I want to talk in front of other couples.  Why do you offer group R&R’s?

Though it may be hard to believe, change is often easier and more rapid when couples choose the group setting for their R&R.  Realizing that other couples have many of the same struggles you’re dealing with brings a welcome sense of relief.  Many couples are amazed at how quickly they forget the other members of the group were strangers just days prior to their R&R.  Many couples even find that they make long-term friendships with the other couples in their group.

Can I watch TV?

Sorry, we remove all televisions from the rooms.  We want your R&R to be a time of focusing on your spouse, not the latest Nascar highlights or decorating tips.  In spite of what they first imagined, most couples find that they do not miss the television.

Can I talk on the phone with friends and family?

Certainly, you can.  We do recommend, however, that you keep this time down to a bare minimum.  As just mentioned, your R&R is about your marriage, not about the children or in-laws or job responsibilities.  Most outside news can wait until the end of your R&R.

Does my room have one bed or two?

All accommodations have one bed.  We believe this is an important part of marriage.  If you believe you have an outstanding mitigating circumstance that we should consider, please contact us as early as possible and together we will determine the best course of action.

Why do you offer Marriage R&R’s instead of regular therapy?

Some research points to the effectiveness of a format like the R&R, instead of traditional, weekly therapy.  An R&R does not replace or supercede the long-term efforts you might make with a traditional therapist.  Consider an R&R the place to do some emergency marriage surgery.  Without necessary follow-up and aftercare, however, healing can not take place as it should.

Why does an R&R cost so much?

We understand you are making a huge investment in the success of your marriage by attending an R&R.  Nothing worthwhile has ever come easy.  We want to make R&R’s as accessible and economically feasible as possible.  For your investment, you receive the efforts and expertise of two licensed therapists, from assessment to treatment to follow-up.  We believe our pricing is fair, considering the hours of work with each therapist and their personal and professional commitment to the success of your R&R.

What type of assessments do you perform before we arrive at the R&R?

After extensively researching the most effective methods of assessment for a unique tool like the R&R, we have decided on a battery of tests that have been empirically validated on hundreds of thousands of other individuals and couples.  We pick our assessment tools based on what is most informative and beneficial to you, the therapists, and to the process of the R&R.  Please contact us if you want to know the specific names of the assessment tools.  We will be happy to share this information with you in person.  Due to the highly confidential nature of psychological testing and copyright restrictions, we do not name the tests in a public forum.

Will this R&R work for my marriage?

It is certainly our prayer and heartfelt desire that your R&R will work miracles in your marriage.  We can not, however, make any guarantees.  Much of the success of your R&R depends on how hard you (not just your spouse) decide to work during our time together.  As in so many other things in life, you get out of this process what you put into it.  As facilitators, we will apply our training, knowledge, years of experience, and passionate concern for your well-being to the best of our ability.  Rest assured that you will have therapists who genuinely care about your marital success.  We spend much time in prayer for every R&R.